Lori Cheek saw something missing in the seemingly saturated online dating market—a human touch. Her company, Cheek’d, applies a personal approach to online dating by moving the initial encounter offline with a smooth introduction. Users hand out the stylishly design cards, with witty phrases. This former architect went from building structures to building relationships, and now she is sharing her story.
[David Judson:] What is Cheek’d?
[Lori Cheek:] We call Cheek’d online dating reversed. So, if you’ve ever seen an attractive stranger on a train or at a café, instead of walking up and interrupting them, you can hand them a card. It’s a black card with one of many different pick-up lines on it, like “I just put all my drinks on your tab,” or “I saw you checking me out.”
The card has a unique code that leads to your online profile. Instead of handing your personal information right away, you’re basically handing a card that says, “I want to see you again,” minus all your personal contact information.
How did you come up with the idea?
I was an architect and I’ve been living in New York for 17 years, and 3 years ago I was out to dinner with another architect friend of mine. Cute guy, and I had to excuse myself from the table, and he’d written on the back of his business card, “Want to have dinner?” and slid that card to a woman that had been sitting next to us.
As I was leaving the restaurant, I remember looking back and thinking, “That’s pretty smooth of him. This mysterious gesture, but minus all that personal information on the other side of the card.”
So you’re like, “That move could be a business idea.”
I was sold that very moment on this idea, and I knew I was going to make it happen. I talked about it for about a year and everybody kept saying, “That’s a genius idea. Make it happen!”
From that evening to launching the site, how long?
Two years.
Two years?
Yeah, one year was me talking about it. Then I found this business partner who sat down and basically did all the things that I was not capable of doing, which was the business plan, applying for the trademarks and patents, all the things I didn’t how to approach. From that day, it was about a year until launch.
Before you launched, did you do any kind of market research or try it out? Except from feedback from people saying, “Wow, that’s a great idea,” was there any kind of way to validate it? You did get a lot of positive feedback.
Other than the feedback, from the very beginning, I remember the weekend after that moment, I came to the Soho House and there was a cooking class. There were about 10 of my best friends in the class. After the class, we all went and sat in the drawing room and ordered bottles of wine.
We all just sat down brainstorming about all the different lines and how this could work. It was a good time. We kind of launched the idea with a little party. It’s crazy how, at that moment in time when I watched my friend slide that card to that woman, it was the end of my career in architecture.
You actually had one of those “a-ha moments.”
There was a literal light bulb above my head.
What have been the challenges?
I would say the major challenges are, this was an accidental business for me.
You were not entrepreneur then?
Yeah, I wasn’t before. Honestly, I didn’t know half the stuff I know now. I’ve clearly taken a crash course in starting your own business to this point. I wish I knew what I knew now when I started this.
Like what? Can you give me an example?
For example, we’ve applied to a couple of accelerators, incubator programs and they keep talking about the importance of a technical co-founder, which I never knew the importance of. I just thought we could outsource this work, but missing that element has been a major drawback for us. To have someone on the team that was invested is important. It’s very expensive to get web work done, as you know.
The technical part is the back-end of a dating site, right?
Right.
Are there turnkey dating platforms out there or are they just not sophisticated enough? You had to build this from scratch?
Our platform works in a unique fashion. I don’t think you can just go pull this off the internet. The id codes were kind of a problem in the beginning. They’re numbered like a checkbook, so each single code is unique. If you type in my code, I get an e-mail saying, “The person with the code -43 just viewed you.”
When you first introduced the idea to me, it was so creative and I’ve shown this to other people and they have the same reaction: extremely positive. But then there’s a second step, when I think to myself, “Would I actually do it?” Then I start to get a little nervous because we live in New York. It can be kind of harsh. I am breaking personal space by giving a stranger something. There’s safety being behind your computer. Your idea takes more courage.
I can talk about this all day long.
That’s the challenge. Have you come across that, what I’ve just said. Is that the main stalling point?
That is, it’s actually a major challenge, because just like you said, it’s changing a behavior. It’s not the norm to go up and hand somebody one of these cards. But the beauty is, just like my friend did that evening, which must have taken an equal amount of guts, there’s something about handing this card and you’re gone. There’s no rejection that you have to deal with.
Perhaps, if you try it right way. It’s like testing the waters. Do it once, and it’s okay. I think it’s that first attempt that’s hard.
On another hand, a lot of people say, “Why would you use these cards? Why wouldn’t you just walk up and talk to them?” I’m like, “If you’re too shy to go up and hand them a card, there’s no way you’re going to walk up and be like, “Excuse me. Hi, I think you’re cute, would you like to have a coffee with me tomorrow?’”
Here’s the reality. Most guys would want to do that. But 9 out of 10 don’t. Do they consider you crazy if you do this? Or is the novelty so interesting?
Everyone’s intrigued. Every time that I hand one of these cards out, I’d say 75% of the messages I get back, have the word intrigue in the messages: “I don’t know what this is, but I’m intrigued.”
Are you doing it for market research?
I’m single. I’m looking for a date.
You are. So you’re your own client?
Yes. Did you see that guy that I just waved at in there?
Yeah.
So, I was here one night and he was sitting at the bar. I’m like, “That guy’s cute.” So, I slid him the card that says, “Where have I been all your life?” The next day I saw this guy had written me a message back saying, “I got cheek’d by the founder of Cheek’d.” So, we had apparently met before and I don’t remember how. We went out last week for drinks.
So, how many dates have you gone on through this?
Last summer, the summer before, I forget we’re in 2012. I slid one of these cards that said, “This card could change your life,” into someone’s back pocket, and we dated for four months.
You mentioned you had a full cover feature in the New York Times?
We were on the cover of the Style Section of the New York Times back in July. They coined us as the next generation of online dating. They said, “Move over Match.com, this is the next generation of online dating.”
That must have been big.
I cried all day. The next day we got a call from Oprah Winfrey’s studio asking for a deck of our cards and a picture of me.
You didn’t go on Oprah?
No, I hear that 80% of what they ask for doesn’t go live.
But they inquired.
I was excited about that.
Had you gone on that show, you might be in your mansion right now, you know what I mean?
Yeah. I don’t even know if our site was ready to handle that at that point anyway.
Right, but the idea is there.
Even that article lead to press all over the world. We currently ship to 46 states in the U.S. and 21 countries worldwide. It goes to show that this is not just an urban city thing. We got an order for a deck of cards in Montana, we have 2 in Anchorage, Alaska.
Do you have any competitors?
We had one, we’ve actually had two people follow us into this space. A couple months after our launch, there was a company called Flip Me Dating and they’ve already completely rebranded everything. Now they’re only focusing on women. They’re like the modern woman’s guide to flirting. I feel like we’re a little bit like the Standard Hotel and they’re something else. You pick which one you want. Our cards are black, they’re snarkier, they’re presumptuous. They’re like, “You’re going to want to know me.” There’s are “frou-frou, hearts and flowers.”
We’ve talked about this before, changing people’s behaviors, that’s a tall order. It’s hard potentially to do. Meaning, it could pay off big time, but maybe it takes time.
I think we’re starting to understand that that’s one of the major challenges that we’re facing to this day. We’ve been meeting with some brains that are giving us some fresh ideas about how to change this behavior. We’ve got some plans to make some little videos when we have new customers
That was the first thing I thought: tutorials, something to show this in action. I think that would be really big. And social media would definitely spread the word. That’s an investment too. So, it’s you and who else?
The gentleman I mentioned earlier. He’s my co-founder and CFO.
Okay, so is there a piece that is missing? Do you need a marketing guru?
If you Google us right now, we’ve got press all over the world. It’s steady. It’s coming in. Almost daily there’s something new written about us. Whether it’s a blog, a newspaper. I don’t know if that’s really our challenge as much. In fact, that’s even kind of more frightening that we’re getting so much press and not as many orders as we think should be following the press.
So, I’d say the other biggest challenge is the fact that I’ve bootstrapped this business for three years pretty much. I’m doing this fulltime and I don’t think I can take it to the next level without a little bit of funding, so we are currently seeking our seed round of investment.
What would you do with that? Do you have plans for what you would do?
I think we need to have an office space. That way we can have some interns come, start on our team. I would like to have another person doing the marketing. We’re going to focus on doing partnerships with alcohol brands, other things to build distribution.
Alcohol would help loosen the courage issue.
Exactly. Or even, we were thinking with airlines. Maybe we team up with Virgin Airlines. If you’re single, you show up at the airport. You’re traveling somewhere; you’re not going to know people wherever you’re going. You get a mini deck of these cards and they say things like, “Want to be a member of my mile-high club?” or, “Your aisle or mine?”
We’re even thinking about the Standard Hotel for example. You check in, you’re single; you’re new in town. There could be a card that says, “I’m new in town. Meet me at the Standard Grill in 20. Let’s take a walk on the high line.” It’s all kind of location based. With that money, we will build our iPhone app, which is going to be a GPS locating dating app.
Which brings up an interesting point. There are these mobile dating sites now that are bringing dating to mobile. It’s getting a little closer to what you’re doing on some level. You can see where someone is GPS-wise, it’s not the exactly same, but similar.
The beauty of what we’re doing is there’s humor in this. There are over 1400 dating sites in America, and I don’t think any of them make you laugh really. The lines on these cards are part of our brand. With mobile sites like with Grindr, I guess you get a signal or something on your phone, but with these cards [and our mobile app], you’re going to be able to flip through with your phone, “Oh, I want to give this guy the card that says, ‘I’m totally cooler than your date.” So I can shoot that to him and it pops up on his phone that he got Cheek’d. He presses on that card [on his smart-phone] and that’s going to lead to my online profile. Then, we can chat there, I can even send him a drink.
You’re stealing the date. Interesting.
Just because people are on a date does not mean anything. One of the two of them will probably hate the other one by the end of the night. We’re applying for that accelerator, Women in Mobile, for this app.
What are some more lines?
Let me just pull these out. Last night I was at the Old Town Tavern. There was a guy with a beer in his hand, and I put this card on his glass like this, and it says, “I couldn’t find a napkin.” Some more cards say, “Wait here, I’ll be right back.” “I dare you.” “You can thank me later.” “Mind picking the place for our first date?”
They’re very aggressive, I am not sure that is the word. They have an edge to them.
Our most famous card is the one that says, “Act natural. We can get awkward later.”
That’s good because it’s very provocative without being pornographic.
Yeah, people laugh. It’s an icebreaker. What is going to be different about this iPhone app from the other location-based apps is that there’s an icebreaker involved. There’s this sense of humor and hopefully you’ll be able to type whatever you want on the card and it shows up like a Cheek’d card that you can just shoot to the other person. Like you could say, “Nice eyes.”
How do you make money?
You buy a deck of these cards, you get 50 different lines in the deck for $20.00. Your first month is free and every months after that is $9.95 a month to keep your code activated for your profile. We have the Wall Street inspired deck and a Dog Deck of cards and they’re $25. The subscriptions run the same way.
You’ve mentioned that you’re kind of breaking even?
We’re far from breaking even.
Why?
I’d say going back to my challenges, I’ve made a lot of mistakes because I didn’t know what I was doing. Spending money on a PR firm initially when I ultimately am more invested in this. I’ve done better PR than I think I could hire anybody to do. I kind of have a marketing and PR background from my last jobs in architecture. The legal fees alone for trademark, patent, and getting the books done.
Some of these things you didn’t realize you could have done on your own maybe?
No, this has just added up. After working this long and some of the travel I’ve done. I’ve gone to DC, Montreal, for the start-up festival. Just trying to get the word out in other places.
Well, you’re the best PR.
Yeah. I was just selected to speak at the online dating summit in Barcelona, Spain. So, I’m going to that.
Maybe in Europe, because they’re more relaxed about it. The male approaching the female culture is more accepted there.
I actually don’t know. For example, we’ve just been written up in all this stuff in Italy.
What did they say?
The articles are just like, “This is the new thing,” but on another hand, I think men in Latin cultures are very forward, so this is not necessarily a tool for them.
That’s what I was thinking. Maybe, they’re old school, they don’t need this. They’ll go up to a woman and say, “You’re beautiful.”
Women there kind of play that other role. I don’t know if they’re the culture. We’ve sold a lot of decks in Canada, Scandinavia.
Shyer countries.
Yeah.
Scandinavia, They’re shy.
Asia.
Asia. Forget it. Asia, that’s unlimited.
Tons in Germany too. You can write whatever you want on these cards too. So you can write them in any language.
That’s very creative. There’s so much here.
It’s interesting because when I had mentioned this idea to my parents who got me through college, I think they thought I was crazy, like, “What is she doing? Leaving this career that we built for her?”
Speak to that, what was their attitude? They didn’t like it?
I just think that they didn’t understand how big this could be. I remember my mom called me one day early on and said, “How’s your little company doing? And I was like, “Aaaah.”
Almost mocking it?
Just not even getting it.
They don’t get the potential?
This was a long time ago, but even just about six months ago, I was on the phone with my mom again saying, “I’m just so frustrated. How am I going to blow this up?” I said, “Whatever, I’m not quitting,” and she said, “You’re not quitting yet.” I’m like, “No. I’m not quitting. Yet, is not an option.” That afternoon, the University of Kentucky, where I got my degree in Architecture, sent me an e-mail asking if I would be the keynote speaker at their global entrepreneur conference because they followed my story about leaving my career and thinking outside the box and how I built my business.
I’ve done some crazy guerilla marketing all over the United States. So, that email made me cry and I sent it to my mom and she couldn’t get through it without crying. It was nice timing. I feel like they’re starting to see what I’ve done. I’m inspiring people alone, whether this business blows up and we conquer the world of online dating.
The idea is so creative and it creates such buzz, but there’s the reality of, are people actually going to buy it and use it? And that’s behavior. Changing behavior. That’s tough, it could take four years. Facebook took years, and all these companies, they take years. So, maybe you’re on track and you don’t know it.
The fact that we’re even still sitting here.
The dating sector is tough.
No one has cracked the answer to online dating. And even Match, I feel like it’s done. There’s this fatigue of online dating.
I’ve had this conversation with other entrepreneurs and they’re starting dating sites and saying the dating site model is broken and you’re right. It’s too random. I can’t get to know you from your picture or from a profile. At some level, it is better to potentially go on a bad date then no date, at least it’s something.
Dating is awkward. This is removing the awkwardness. You could drop a card in front of her and walk on. Then it’s up to her. Maybe she’s thinking the same thing about you and you don’t even know it.
You’re right. You’re getting into such a core issue of life, because we all want love. We all want to be connected and, in New York, it’s probably the toughest place that I’ve ever been as far as that goes.
On the same level, we said that when looking for love, you can’t just walk out the door and expect it to walk up to you. This is taking matters into your own hands, physically. In your hands, here’s your card that says, “I want you.”
The aggressiveness is a big part of it. You’re making aggressiveness, which you need, a little easier. Online dating was supposed to solve this, because online dating is easy. You can get a million dates. Well, I don’t know, like 1 in 4 people meet online now.
Yeah.
What about traditional online dating? Is that, from your experience, did that not work for you?
Well, it’s a whole thing of privacy. The other thing is you can’t search for profiles on Cheek’d. This card gives you an invitation to view the person’s profile. Lets say a famous person doesn’t want people to know that they’re online dating. They could have these cards.
That’s true.
Years ago, I was forced by my friends to fill out my profile on Match.com, which took about 17 hours.
Not as bad as the Eharmony one. I’ve never done that one.
Filling that out was painful. And then, as soon as it was over I was like, “I guess I’m ready to date.” The next thing I know, I’m looking at the people popping up, and there’s one of my clients. I wanted to somehow hide. I wanted to hide. Two seconds later, it showed that he’d just viewed me, or however it worked. I was embarrassed. I know he’s on there too, but I didn’t want him to know.
Back in the day maybe there was a stigma. But now it’s accepted.
I still didn’t want my client and I to be on the same place where people ultimately can hook-up.
I know what you mean.
It’s just awkward. The other nice thing about Cheek’d as opposed to traditional online dating sites is that with an online dating site, you’re dependent on the community they built in your area, but let’s say I travel for business 75% of my life. I can take these cards to Shanghai, hand a card, and it still leads to me. There’s something about the physical world that you can’t do with online dating. I mean you can go sign up for Match in Shanghai.
Have you patented this idea?
We applied for a patent three years ago.
Are you seeing growth, as far as members?
Well, we’re growing, but then we also lose the subscribers after a six-month period. It’s steady. There’s no hockey stick, that’s for sure, but we’re going to try to conquer that this year.
Let’s talk about attributes of an entrepreneur. In order to start your own business, what are some attributes that you need?
I’d say you need to be a risk-taker, but I wouldn’t risk if I didn’t whole heartedly believe in my idea. Determination. I just keep saying, “I’m not looking back. I will never be an architect ever again,” but I do feel like architecture helped me with this whole idea and branding and building. I’m no longer building structures. I’m building relationships.
What did you not like about architecture?
It was not that I didn’t like architecture. It’s strange, ever since I was an architect, officially, everybody in my life was like, “You’re not an architect. You just don’t look like one, you don’t dress like one, you’re too social to be an architect. ”
Exactly. I see them as conservative.
So, then I got into sales and marketing for some really high-end furniture manufacturers, like Vitra, it’s right next door. It’s beautiful, and that was a more social aspect to design. I will always be a designer, but I’ll just bring that into my next businesses.
You were groomed to have a very stable career in something that is very stable but conservative. An architect is kind of like a doctor or lawyer.
This has kind of turned my life inside out. I’m very rigid about how I live my life, I’m very organized. This has just, it’s turned everything that I know on its head.
Which is good.
It’s great. I actually feel like I’m starting over again. I feel like I’m just getting back to New York and I’m 22 years old all over again.
Living in New York working on a start-up is brutal because of the rent. The cost of living here is tough. You have to figure something out. You’ve got to figure out a year’s rent before you do a start-up.
It’s so funny on Facebook, I think people watch my life because I do a lot of exciting things and I go to a lot of swanky places, like here. If they only knew. If they only saw me eating my Ramen noodles. I don’t take pictures of that and post it on Facebook.
I know what you mean. You need to spend money to look a certain way, but in reality it’s different. What about pitching investors, how many have you pitched?
We got invited to pitch at the New York Angels and also the Golden Seeds. We went back a second time to the New York Angels. The guy who organizes everything, he wrote me, I guess it was that afternoon saying, “I’ve been watching these pitches for 20-something years and I’ve seen very few people capture a room the way you did today.” There were like 45 investment bankers in that room and I was so nervous. Anyway, the problem is always our numbers. Investors ask, “Why aren’t there 10,000 people doing this?” Somehow we’ve got to crack the code.
What about your pitch did they like? What was unique about it? Did you get feedback?
Yes. I think everybody likes me. They like the idea. They like the brand.
It hits you right away. But, the question remains, why isn’t everyone using your service? I do think you have to find the right partners. That’s key.
We’ve actually had someone else want to invest in us and we declined because it’s like a marriage. I feel like you are interviewing them because you have to be careful whose money you take. They could end up being like Tony Soprano and if we didn’t make profit, I might not have any kneecaps left.
Absolutely. Or, you’re fighting all the time and it becomes drudgery rather than a love, a passion. Is it a roller coaster?
I know I’ve mentioned in this conversation about four different times when I’ve cried.
You cry for joy. But then there are time like, “Oh my god!”
Yeah, even on Facebook, I’ve got people that send me personal messages that I don’t know, thanking me, “I read this article, you’re so incredible.” I’ve got guys all over the world finding me on Twitter asking if they can call me. I’ve got women saying, “You’re such an inspiration to me, I’m thinking of this and I just keep watching what you’re doing and it gives me hope.”
I friends from college that were like, “I knew you were going to kill it one day, I’m so proud of you.” People I haven’t talked to in forever. I get emotional about that stuff. Some mornings I wake up, and I don’t even know what to do. Sometimes I go to the gym, and I don’t leave. One of these days I’m going to be a bodybuilder, because the gym is my outlet.
So, You go to the gym a lot to, to relieve the excess stress and to keep yourself focused?
It’s one of the main things that has kept me going. That and drinking.
I know exactly what you mean.
Is it happy hour yet?
I know. Is it five o’clock yet? For me, I don’t do Monday-to-Friday and then have weekends. Everyday is another entrepreneurial day.
That’s the way it is. I don’t even know what month it is half the time. It doesn’t even matter.
Sometimes I ask, “What day is it?” I have no clue.
Me too. And the actual date ?
It’s good because you’re in a zone. You’re not in that “Monday-through-Friday grind,” going home and watching TV. It’s great. That’s why I do this. I like being around people who live like this. It inspires me. It’s great.
Something else is, in my corporate life, I have worked in design. No matter where I’ve worked, I’ve gotten in trouble for the way I dress.
It’s just who you are. Do you always dress like this, or do you dress corporate?
I just dress like me. I often have feathers in my hair.
It’s funky or quirky, but it’s you, and I think that’s a good strategy. Don’t do something you’re not.
It’s great to work for yourself because now I can go to bed whenever I want. I can get up whenever I want. I can put on whatever I want the next day. Half the time I’m walking around in my gym clothes until I find myself at the gym. It does not matter because I’m my own boss. That is rewarding.
There’s nothing like that.
It’s horrifying working for people. I just remember being scared half the time. Am I going to get in trouble? It’s ridiculous.
I saw this graph and either you’re bored or you in a state of anxiety or stress. I don’t want to be in either of those states. I want to be engaged. That’s what my last job was like, bored or stressed. Forget it. I think work is changing and we’re becoming more independent, but work is your life in a lot of ways, and you should enjoy it.
The good thing about what I’m doing is, it’s funny. It can be a lot of fun, and it makes people laugh.
You’re improving quality of life too. You’re making relationships happen, which is important. It’s a good thing to be in.
I get taken out to drinks from time to time from handing a Cheek’d card.
I can imagine that you must have an active social life.
Yeah, I never stop. I consider me going out at night is work because I’m spreading the word of Cheek’d.
Dating is part market research, part fun, part lifestyle. It’s cool. For me, my job is social. I meet a lot of people and I like that because I was isolated for a while because I wasn’t doing anything. I needed something social.
One other thing that happened this morning, I got an email from a guy on Linkedin. He’s an investor that I follow on Twitter. He sent me a message saying, “I saw my first Cheek’d card in San Francisco this morning. Keep up the good work.”
This is our year. This is the year of the Cheek’d.
Comments are closed.